Ever have this happen to you: when you think something's not working out and you're ready to give up... then suddenly to your surprise, something occurs to make you realize that your hard work has paid off some how and something works out to your liking?  This happened to me today.

For the past year-and-a-half that I have been writing in this blog I've believed that no one has been reading my entries.  I wanted to literally give up on blogging for a while (today, actually!) because while I try to maintain a positive outlook on life and enjoy writing it as a means of encouraging others, the only people who really know my positive attitude are my closest friends ...not in a million years who I think some random readers would believe this online. While I want to spread the word about living positive and being the best you can be... it seems like my words and thoughts have been going into outer space and affecting no one.  Until now.

To my surprise I find that someone by the user name of 'Blake' posted on my tag wall today letting me know that he considers me a winner of the blog award of the week, an award issued by Bravenet (the hosting service of this blog), and that he too thinks my positive thoughts have been a real impact! I will treasure that comment for a long time because for once I feel that my blog entries have been going somewhere and I am not just posting into outer space.  I am creating a real impact - even if its for one person - with my positive thoughts and words.  I hope there are others who are as equally affected by this as our world can always use a touch of positivity!   Thanks again!

I'm sure you all want an update on how I am doing since my job after 4 and-a-half years, along with several co-employees, has been terminated due to the economic downturn.  I have to say, I am handling this loss quite well.  I cried a lot before, I really let out all the pain that I have been experiencing, but I have been proactive about the situation. Coping with loss is tragic and never something easy to overcome. Losing a job during such economic turmoil has not been easy for me at all since I was used to receiving a regular income at a job I absolutely enjoyed working every minute of - and I know many people can agree with me on this, losing a job is like losing a person close to you. But the great news is that a past job I had in retail a while ago has taken me back, so I do have a new part time job to look forward to.

I think there comes a time in every loss where you have to accept it. Not to repeat the common notion of the "5 Steps" to overcoming a loss with denial, depression, anger, realization and acceptance but I strongly believe that you never truly get over a loss.  I believe, whichever way the steps go, it will always end in acceptance.  Of course, there is never really anything I can do about this loss, I can't turn the clock backwards, I can't march into head office and demand my job back till they get security to escort me out, I can't even beg for an alternate position! I just have to... accept.

You ask yourself all the familiar questions: could I have done anything? was there anything I should have done? Most often you'll find that the answer to that is "no."  It's unfortunate but once you know that you've already done all you could, believed in the best possible outcomes and lived each moment leading up to the loss with a good outlook, that's what can keep you going: knowing that you lived the best way possible and whether or not this outcome was expected, it happened and you walk away with no regrets.

"Move on," "let go," "set it free."  "If it was meant to be it will return."  We've all heard these sayings but are we able to actually consider that when something suddenly happens to us? Well, that's a different story.

Recently, a job I've had for over four years has been discontinued as the current economic downturn has affected the workplace.  It was not only my job that was terminated, but all jobs surrounding my position except for Head Office. I really enjoyed that position I held there - well duh, I lasted there for more than four years! I was saddened by the unexpected loss of my job and realized that I, too, now in a way fall under that unemployment category that so many people are facing today with the economic crisis (although I have another part-time job... two part-time jobs equaled a full-time job in my eyes!).  It was so sudden, unexpected, I didn't know what to do but cry and feel this emptyness.  I felt like everything in my world was moving in a slow pace and I felt stuck.  In the words of Bella Swan from the Twilight Saga, "New Moon," when describing her breakup with Vampire lover, Edward Cullen she says, "it is as if someone punched my chest in and I now have a hole in my heart."  Hm, now reflecting back on that book, she went months feeling this way and it actually made me believe that she had a serious form of depression that wasn't solely from the breakup itself.  Okay bad example, anyway!

I know there will be another path for me to take.  This isn't the end of the world as I have a great job elsewhere in a field I am interested in and very happy to be working there (although it is part-time, three days a week).  Among that, I have the tremendous support of friends and family who understand that this difficult time is quite upsetting and have been a great sounding board for me. I just feel stuck in a rut at this moment with the loss of such a great job that was part of my life for so long. I know I will have to let go, but until then, this is the sad journey I must overcome. Eventually I will find what I am looking for. Eventually.

I thought I'd all share with you that my 48-year-old aunt exchanged vows with her boyfriend of 4 years yesterday.  This got me thinking about another blog idea: the notion that we have to do things at a particular time without slowing down and taking the time to enjoy all the qualities life has to offer.

The common sayings like, 'there are plenty of fish in the sea' or 'if something's meant to be, will be' can sometimes resonate as cliche or be a discouraging concept to someone because we've placed time frames for when something should happen or major emphasis on something happening in a certain way.  With referring to my aunt's recent wedding at her age, it really made me feel that being 25-years-old shouldn't have to be scary to me when it comes to preparing my life for major changes.  While lately I've been undergoing changes and doing things that go toward my future, such as starting a business and making a career move into a slightly different field I can't help but be scared about such common fears like, "will this work out?," "am I doing the right thing?."  Lately, the concept of marriage has crossed my mind "should I be considering marriage or finding the right person because I am getting 'old'?"

I think what I should also consider is that there will be a time for anything (whether you believe in fate or meant-to-be) and it will happen at the time it does.  For my aunt it was the age of 48-years-young and for others it could be at 25 (or even less!).  What I have to really consider about is living and enjoying my life as it happens.  Worrying about the future will always happen but I must follow my heart for what I feel is right at this current time.  I've made some decisions that I am not too proud of, even let go of a person I've believed was 'The One' from the moment he walked into my classroom three years ago (including gushing to friends about it... probably one of my mistakes!).  But I think in instances like this, I should leave it up to the ol' saying: "if it's meant to be, it will be."  If certain things are not "meant-to-be" then the time when everything becomes clear will come eventually! Point is, there is no time frame of when things should occur.  They happen instantaneously, especially when you're caught off-guard.... it's the sponteniety that makes living in the present a constant surprise that rejuvinates your life in so many magical ways!

Don't say "I'm waiting for my life to happen".... instead say, "It's happening now... what happens next will be a great surprise when it arrives!"

Some of the world's greatest concepts started from this.  Ideas, revelations and even interpretations all come from one simple thing: that domed part in your head, the mind! But how does it get put into action and become something great?

It's no wonder that we have instincts, fears, ideas, and things to share with others.  They all derive from past events and learned behavior that your mind stores for you.  But how about putting your mind to work for you in the future? As you all know by now, I am a big fan of the book, The Secret.  Part of this blog derives from the fact that this book has in some way changed my life.  Not that I believe it in its entirety, I am a skeptic like all of you and think that the mind couldn't possibly give you absolutely everything your heart desires, but the idea behind it just about living the simple way of life and appreciating everything in life.

That said, the main topic of today's blog boys and girls is about how by changing your mindset, something that seems so simple can really have an impact on your life.  This was brought to my attention not too long ago when I was discussing some of the life changes that have recently been going on in my life; from a new career, to planning on going back to school, to even the launch of my small business.  How did these things all happen?  Well, as The Secret suggests, start off by picking your self up from whatever wronged you in the past. Whatever happened, happened and hate to break it to you harshly, but you cannot go back into the past and correct it no matter what you think you can do.  Just as simple as calling someone an inappropriate name because you're angry, you can't ever take it back (of course, you can apologize and mend the ties... but the idea that stands is nothing can be taken back, and you can't do anything but move forward).  But put it in your mind that, yes, you  can create change in your life, no matter how big or how small.  Use The Secret as a guide book on how to live a  better life.  When you're only thinking about the good things in life, the bad things tend to disappear.  Even the small things can snowball into something big!  Like this blog... which I hope someone somewhere out there is actually taking the time to read.  Put it in your mind that you can achieve success! 

Yeah right, Nike... your slogan is getting old.

There, I said it.  The slogan is getting old.  Maybe not to Nike, but the concept of the slogan.  Yesterday I spoke about determination, finding the passion in things... of course, I concluded that it is hard often times to bring out the best of any position or situation, yet always know that there will be an outcome that can be in your favor.  But what about those times you're faced with a difficult decision? Most of the time, we turn to past decisions, if the decision at stake involves other people, how are we taking into account a win-win situation for all? What if sacrifice is involved?

I find that when I am faced with a decision, I am always weighing all the options like anyone else would do, but I get stuck at that nagging question "how will this work out in the future?"  I find we're always concerned with our future and the "what next" these days that we don't stop to even consider that the actual days we're wondering and worrying about what to do next are the days that are in fact shaping our future and allowing us to live in the present.  I personally find, if you want a bit of my advice, when I am faced with a decision, leaving it be and forgetting about it - even if you're pressed for time - allows the answer to come to you.  The more you worry, the more the anxiety builds up and anxiety is known to shrink the brain in times of distress... thus, allowing you to probably make a poor decision.

I know from experience, I tend to make decisions to make everyone happy - everyone happy except myself.  In the end, it backfires because once it's caught up to me that the decision I've made was the wrong one - one that doesn't end up making me happy in the long run - it's already been too late.  I do this a lot.  And while it's good to make others happy, or get caught up in a situation where all you seem to worry about is ensuring everyone's okay, you also need to count "number one" in that mix: you.  Often times we're interested in pleasing the boss, agreeing with everyone when we have work meetings just because we're afraid of sharing our thoughts or getting our opinions out there, or even when making decisions when it comes to love.  We don't want to miss out on important decisions by making the wrong one because at the time it "seemed like the right thing." Go with your gut instincts.  Cosmopolitan (yeah, of ALL magazines I read as the magazine-whore I am!) has a great article on learning to discover your gut instincts: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/advice/tips/trust-your-gut?click=main_sr

I think all-and-all we should stop and think about the self too.  Today's blog is about the self - in an un-selfish way of course.  When making a decision, no, don't just "do it," think about it critically, but take some time apart from the stress of worrying what will be next.  Live for the moment and know when the time comes, the decisions you make we're meant to be and there will always be many chances to shine.

I suppose I wasn't done with blogging just yet tonight!  I have elaboration on the last post! Yep!

Recently, I went with Michela to see the movie Julie and Julia.  Apparently it's based on two true stories: First is a woman  in the 1940's who is 30-something looking for a hobby after moving to Paris with her husband and finds herself cooking French delectables for American citizens and writes a book! The second part is about a woman in today's society who blogs her way through that first woman's cook book and writes about her experiences.  Needless to say, woman #2 ends up blogging every experince of her cooking to the point where she becomes very well-known and develops a fanbase.  I suppose this, in a twisted way, is sort of like a Melissa-Julia-Julie project.  Okay that's too weird.  Besides, people actually took the time to read her blog because it was interesting.  Mine... well... I'd like to hope it inspires at least someone out there who stumbles upon this blog!

Anyway, my point in relation to my last post about motivation is that although for the longest time she receives no hits on her blog and continues to pointlessly cook meals which may never come out the way it is written in Julia Child's cookbooks, she does it anyway because she had the passion and determination to do something regardless of where it takes her. 

I must say, it was a very touching movie and I am very glad that I got a chance to see it because it once again shows that through determination, constant motivation, anything is possible! Believe in anything! Follow your heart even if it is something that seems pointless!

We all need a little more dedication, a little more effort and a little more positivity to keep on going.  I think I need more dedication to keep my blog going since the last time I wrote in here was over 3 months ago!

Sometimes, it's hard to just "keep on truckin'"!  Even something as simple as keeping up with a blog.  While we all my have our legitimate excuses such having two jobs, which is my excuse, if something needs to be done, there's no way around it but to just do it!  Sounds a lot easier said than done, huh? Sometimes it can be within those little words of encouragement that we all long to hear, but never really hear it... or perhaps we're at a job we do not like and wish to just get something done and over with, for the sake of having it done.  What we fail to see is whatever it is we have to do, we need to find the passion for it, the real reason why we eventually can get around to doing something.  Yes, even if it's cleaning the house or something we do not want to face! Cleaning the house, brings a cleaner, safer and anti-viral environment.  Going to work produces money to support ourselves, our family and go towards investing in our futures. 

Having the drive to continue writing in this blog - although can serve no purpose and may not even have any readers - is just for the passion of affirming to myself that I can attain a positive lifestyle. Yes, I do this for myself on my leisure time as a reassurance that I too can achieve postivity in a situation that seems metaphorically empty.

Ask yourself... when did you put passion into something that you had to do even when you did not have the drive to do it?  What motivated you?

Well, it's been a while! I ought to stop disappearing from my blog! I've been busy, of course with two jobs but there should always be time for doing what I enjoy doing: writing! (and the chance to keep my skills up to par since I write for a magazine).

Well as you all know (I hope), today is Father's Day! Happy Father's Day to any fathers who are reading my blog and anyone who is out celebrating this very special day with their dads! (I sure hope I still have readers reading my blog??) lol.

Today got me thinking.  I know, every occasion and scenario gets me thinking and pondering about its origins, how things came to be and so on.  I was wondering why Father's Day and Mother's Day are separated and who it was that decided on the specific dates that these occasions would fall on? Hear me out! While there are some who argue that they don't communicate to a parent anymore or unfortunately have lost one; the reality is, it takes two to make a baby! Both your parents were present at the time you were conceived so why separate the parents on two separate occasions?

I'm thinking that there should be a "Parent's Day," have it all at once - whether you have both your parents with you or not - they should both be somehow recognized or else to me, it seems like the "hallmarkization" of holidays.  Where two separate holidays are distinguished just for the fact of selling cards and gifts.  It's almost as bad as those random "Happy Halloween" cards I saw back in October and really, who gives out Halloween cards? Last I checked it was supposed to be candy day - and for kids only or else these treats goes straight to my bottom! 

Rants aside, I believe we as offspring should make an effort, even if it's a small gesture to give thanks and gratitude to those who have given us life.  Your parent may not have been there during your upbringing or you may have lost a parent, but giving thanks can come in so many ways; a prayer, a letter, a mutual understanding with your siblings or a simple phone call to say "I love you." Don't wait a moment longer, do it now!

~Melissa

As many of you know, I started this blog initially in my last year of University as part of a class media project with the sole purpose of talking about my bad and negative experiences.  It was meant as a way to actually turn an online diary into a rant page for the rest of the world to see, make people laugh, have them comment and share their stories and the like.  Eventually, once I finished school and graduated I wanted to keep this blog, but start thinking and acting upon all the good in my life and to (hopefully) change a life.

Now as you may have read in my last post, someone changed a homeless woman's life by offering her $100 bill.  As I also mentioned in that post, we don't have to have loads of money to help others, all we need is to be there for someone else and remind them of the potential they have as individuals with have the ability to make something for themselves.  That last post got me thinking.  What if I have the ability at this very second - with my blog - to change someone's life? What if there is someone out there who's life is not going as they have planned and they found my blog and turn to it (if it's even possible that someone other than my closest friends are out there reading my entries) and are learning and changing their mindset based on what I have to say.  What if there is someone taking comfort in the positive things I am saying, the feel-good stories and inspirational experiences? There could be someone at this very moment taking notice of my postings and finding ways through these positive stories to actively enrich their lives, and have the courage and strength to change their lives just by reading positive material such as this?  Sounds far-fetched, but as I always believe, anything's possible.  I am convinced I am able to change someone's life, even through simple acts.

To those who want to help others out: perhaps taking notice of all the positive things around us - even the small opportunities that present themselves - can inspire us in so many ways and we can accomplish so much.  So while you're sitting there thinking, "it's just a blog, it can't do anything," we should also recognize that any small thoughtful act could be "push" someone needs to lead their life in a positive direction!

I believe we can make change.  Anything can bring hope to someone.  How have you brought hope and a positive light to someone who has been experiencing conflict or struggle?

~Melissa